Hello, 2020. Nice to meet you.
Today was an awesome New Years Day. Mom cooked the traditional collard greens and black eyed peas, pork and her perfect cornbread, and we ate and laughed and ate some more. I went for a hike and thanked God for the beautiful sunshine, and I took time to rest, taking full advantage of the old wives tale that says you shouldn’t clean your house or do laundry on New Years Day.
As I hiked through the woods today, I thought of this year to come. I don’t do resolutions, but I do often do a lot of thinking this time of year…pondering on what might be in the near future. What exciting events might occur in 2020….some expected and some a complete surprise. The past couple of years have been chocked full of not-so-great surprises, so some good happenings would be greatly appreciated….most definitely.
I turned the big 5-0 in 2019. I dreaded it terribly, soooo terribly. But when the day came, I suddenly felt fine with it. I decided that I was, indeed, Sally O’Malley from Saturday Night Live (and if you’re not familiar with Sally, stop right now and look her up on YouTube… seriously….NOW) “I like to KICK! Stretch! And…KICK!” Why not make it fun? Why not make 50 my best year?
Well, tomorrow is January 2….my “half-birthday” so to speak, so I’m already halfway through with this being 50 business. I’ve kicked ass pretty well so far, but I can do better. I’d like to up my game these next six months.
I will say, every now and then, this getting older thing trips me up just a bit. Just this past weekend, Ella and I were in Nashville enjoying a wonderful Mommy/Daughter trip. As I walked into the bathroom of our hotel room, I noticed a big magnifying mirror hanging on the wall. One of those that you could pull out from the wall and angle just right, to apply make-up, shave, or whatever. This sucker wasn’t just a triple magnifier. It was at least five times the normal magnification. AT LEAST. Maybe more. Have you ever looked at your face in one of those? Oh dear Lord in heaven….it’s just awful. Every wrinkle looks like a huge river. Every blemish is so pronounced. It is, no doubt, absolutely terrifying. If you’ve never looked at yourself in a mirror that strong….just DON’T. Avoid them at all costs. And shame on that hotel for installing those. SHAME on them. The first time I hollered out in shock, as I looked in to that mirror, Ella ran to the bathroom door to find out what the problem was. I answered, “oh nothing….I’m just old and haggard, apparently…and this hotel is just mean!”
I spent the next ten minutes “freshening up” as Ella waited….for I didn’t dare walk out of that room looking as pathetic as that horrible mirror had made me feel. Once I got myself together, I took a deep breath and hung a hand towel over that evil contraption as I walked out of the bathroom.
The next time we got into my car, Ella wanted to listen to music from my phone. She hit the button on the stereo to switch from local radio to my collection of music. I have hundreds of songs in my music….and anything at all could have started playing. Ella likes to hit “shuffle” and just see what comes on, and sometimes it’s a funny surprise, as there are still a few songs I’ve not yet deleted from my elementary teaching days. Just a few days before, she hit shuffle and “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” started playing, and she thought it was hilarious.
This time, the song seemed to be cosmically chosen to accompany the fact that the evil bathroom mirror had truly hurt my feelings. Brandi Carlile began to sing “The Story” and the first few lines were clearer to me than they’d ever been before:
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I’ve been
And how I got to where I am
YEP.
You know what? I’ve earned all of these lines across my face, and I most definitely have a story to tell. And without those stories, I wouldn’t be where I am. And where I am is a good place. A better place than I deserve. A better place than I ever imagined. So, TAKE THAT, you evil hotel bathroom mirror!
The next morning, I took the towel off of that mirror and I looked in to it again, this time smiling. As I smiled, I noticed how many more wrinkles seemed to appear. Though that could be depressing, I think it’s pretty cool…we have wrinkles that we’ve developed because of smiling. With smiling often comes laughter. Laugh wrinkles! I love it.
Ella got a kick out of that mirror, as even she–at the ripe old age of 13– noticed things about her face that she’d never noticed before. “I have a freckle in my eyebrow!” she yelled out, giggling. “Wow, I really DO have a lot of eyelashes!”….agreeing with what I’ve told her many times. Oh, what I’d give to have that girl’s eyelashes.
That evil mirror become a fun thing to her….and eventually, to me. As Ella put it, “this thing helps you see things you didn’t know were there!”
For a 13 year old, that’s fun. For a 50 year old…kinda scary. But also fun. I just needed to remind myself that my wrinkles and age spots have been earned by a life well-lived. A life of ups and downs. A life with sorrow, a life of laughter. I life with sadness, a life with joy. Wonderful, abundant joy.
Simply….a life.
LIFE
There’s a famous quote that says “the best part of the art of living is to know how to grow old gracefully.”
hmmm….gracefully? Let’s define that:
GRACEFULLY
[ˈɡrāsfəlē]
1) in an attractively elegant way.
2) in a respectful and dignified way.
I used to possess definition number one–somewhat. When I was younger, I performed all the time. Opera, solo performances, recitals, etc…. and my friends used to laugh at how I seemed to only have “stage grace.” I would walk onto that stage with the utmost grace, looking as elegant and professional as I possibly could. Then once I left the stage, I would no doubt trip over my own feet backstage simply trying to get to the dressing room. One time, I tripped and fell over absolutely nothing as soon as I left the stage, and literally rolled ten feet across the backstage area as my fellow performers laughed until they cried. I ripped my costume so badly, I had three women gathered around me (still laughing) with safety pins, trying to get me put back together before I went back on stage. I guess I only had grace when I knew the audience was watching–when I was performing…but in real life, I was the clumsiest person around. And unfortunately, it just gets worse with age. I can still trip over absolutely nothing, better than anyone. I really should get an award for it.
Definition number two is harder to achieve, in my opinion. To act gracefully– in a respectful and dignified way. To possess this type of grace, we must know when to take the high road. When to bow out of a conversation that we know might get uncomfortable–perhaps to the point of hurting or offending someone. Know when to keep our mouths closed. Know when to keep our opinions to ourselves. That’s a tough one.
Though I’m getting worse at definition number one, I hope that I’m getting better at the second. It takes practice. But, if we want to be good humans and strive to not hurt others….being respectful and dignified is crucial.
So maybe I can manage to grow old gracefully, as I stumble and trip and fall into the room. Maybe I can maintain a bit of dignity as I pull myself up off the floor.
Earlier tonight, I told Ella that I needed to grab a few things at the drug store tomorrow. She quickly said “oooh! we should get one of those funky mirrors!” And I replied, “absolutely NOT.”
I don’t need THAT much of a reminder. I’d be fine if I never looked in one of those mirrors again. But an occasional reminder is nice. A reminder that growing older is okay. And there’s absolutely nothing we can do about it.
Every morning we awake we are a day older. And hopefully, we’re also thankful to have awaken. Thankful to be given one more day to live our best. With grace? Maybe. With a grateful heart? Most definitely.
We’ll all grow a year older in 2020….some of you may have a birthday coming up soon, others later. When it comes, no matter your age, embrace it with joy! Be thankful to be given another birthday. And if you really want to see what life’s done to you, go ahead and pick up one of those mirrors in the drug store. But don’t freak out like I did at first…just laugh. Because the coolest wrinkles are the ones that show when we laugh.
May 2020 bring you LOTS of laughter.
God Bless
Kickin' & Screamin' 