Kickin' & Screamin'

You hear people say “don’t sweat the small stuff”…but you know, the small things do matter.  We all have details in our life that are small, yes–but matter to us.  I recently broke off a new relationship in my life, due to several reasons.  Though it wasn’t a reason to end our time together, there was a small factor that drove me crazy.  This small fact was that he never took the time to read this blog.  I mentioned it.  I hinted. I just didn’t get it.  If he knew it was important to me, why not take 10 minutes to skim over a few of my writings?  It would have been a great opportunity for him to learn more about me, learn what matters to me, learn about some of the stuff that moves me enough to write about it.  And even if he thought it was useless dribble, at least he could say that he’d read it.  But nope.  It was a big deal to me….but not to him.

Sometimes I do get hung up on the little things.  Because they do, indeed matter. I’ve tried to live by the “don’t sweat the small stuff” philosophy.  But I can’t help but think…what about the small things that are really important to us?  We know they’re insignificant, maybe even silly, but they matter…no matter how small.

But what I’ve truly been thinking about lately is….do we take time out of our busy lives to show our loved ones that we care about the “small stuff” in their lives?  Do we often live our lives focusing only on what matters to us?  Do we often refuse to take time to pay attention to things that seem small to us, but big to someone else?  Do we find the small things to be “too much trouble?”

I think we parents can truly be found guilty of this quite often.   I remember a time when my girl was convinced her grilled cheese tasted better when cut a certain way, with the crust removed.  Deep inside, I thought it was a waste of time to remove the crust from each sandwich.  Wouldn’t it just to better to have her eat the part she wants, and leave the crust on her plate?  Many times I’d forget to cut the crust off, only to see the disappointment on her face….which would lead me to immediately cutting the crust from the sandwich, trying to make it just right….but no doubt I rolled my eyes.  Then came that day, when I served her a grilled cheese sandwich cut just right, with the crust neatly removed.  She looked up at me and said “Mommy, I know when you make it just like this, you are making it with love. This might be the best sandwich ever!”  I never rolled my eyes again over her sandwiches.  I cut that crust off with the enthusiasm of a parent who realized how very blessed she is.

A kindergarten student asked me to tie his shoe last week.  As I tied it for him, in the usual way, he said “but you didn’t double knot it.”  I reached back down to tie it in that extra knot as he shared, “My Mommy always double knots but she’s been gone for a while.”  I learned later that this little boy was going through a terribly difficult time at home.  His Mommy was indeed gone for a while, and his living conditions were heartbreaking.  The huge hug he gave me after I tied his shoe showed me that a tiny thing like that double knot meant more to him than I could truly understand.

The small things can be the biggest things that matter to us.  I was recently in the grocery store when the woman checking out in front of me asked if she could run back to the bread aisle and exchange the loaf of bread she had chosen.  The cashier, trying to be helpful, asked if there was a problem, then offered to get an assistant to change out the loaf for her.  She insisted upon doing it herself, and profusely apologized to me as she left all of her items on the conveyer belt as she ran to the bread aisle, quickly returning with an identical loaf.  Upon returning, she explained to me that her father has dementia, and would often get upset if the grains scattered on top of the loaf of whole grain bread weren’t evenly spread.  She had realized that the loaf she first would have upset him, as one half of the loaf had grains scattered across the top, but the other half had very few grains.  She knew that this tiny detail would possibly ruin the rest of her father’s day.  A tiny thing to most, but a huge thing to him.  Therefore, a huge thing to her.

As Ella and I were shopping yesterday, we held the door for an elderly woman who was walking in a store behind us.  She dropped a packet of tissues as she passed us, which I quickly picked up and returned to her.  She smiled at us and said “thank you so much for your kindness.”  As we walked on, I thought about that for a bit.  It was a tiny thing.  A very tiny thing.  But to her, it showed kindness.  It was a reminder that there truly is still kindness in this world.

We show kindness to others by caring about every aspect of them.  The big things and the little.  If it means something to them, but seems tiny and trivial to us, who cares?  Do it.  Just do it.  If you know it’s important to them, and you care about them, it’s your duty to treat the little things like bug stuff.

What’s important to you?  Whether big stuff or small, what matters to you?  What do you immediately notice?  If you’re on a date and he doesn’t open your door, is that a deal breaker?  Maybe so.  Maybe not.  It’s a little thing, but how BIG is that little thing to you?  It’s crucial that we know how important those little things truly are to us.  But it’s MORE crucial that we know what those little things are that matter to those around us.

How can you make someone’s day brighter by doing something little?  Something that’s tiny to us can be huge to someone else.  A quick text that takes you less than 15 seconds to write could make someone else’s day complete.   A show of support for something your friend is bravely attempting could encourage them enough to keep doing it…maybe when they’re right on the verge of quitting.  What if they are one day away from giving up….but you show them a tiny bit of encouragement?  That tiny bit might only seem tiny to YOU.

With all the big stuff going on in the world, let’s take a moment to focus on the small things. The things that are our size.  With all the overwhelming global issues, there’s often very little we can do about those things.  Pray, vote, stand up for what we believe, pray some more, write your congressman, then pray again….but what can we really do?  It can get discouraging really fast. But how many smaller things can we actually control?  Control by DOING…by caring.

Now, for those of you who ARE reading this (unlike you-know-who…), those who know me well can tell you that I do tend to live my life trying hard to NOT sweat the small stuff.  And no, in many cases, we shouldn’t.  But if the small stuff is important to you, it should be important to others.  You deserve that.  Don’t take less than what you deserve.  Go ahead right now and make a mental list of the little things that may be trivial to others, but they’re important to you.  Those things matter. Don’t forget that.  Don’t EVER forget that.

And most importantly…. BE THAT PERSON who remembers the small details of those you care about.  Treat them as big things.  Treat them as important people.

So, now and then….Yeah…Let’s sweat the small stuff.  Let’s sweat it out ’til we’re soaked through and through.    For, after all, lots of small things can equal something huge.  And doing something huge for someone else is what it’s all about.

God bless 🙂