Kickin' & Screamin'

I currently have a student teacher, and she’s pretty awesome.  She graduates from college in a couple of months, and is spending her last few weeks of college with me in my classroom.  For the past few weeks, she’s been teaching all of my classes–to get the full experience of what my job entails, as she hopes to begin a similar job next year.  It’s been quite amazing, actually….going to work each day, and having someone else do your job as you sit back and observe.  It’s truly mind-opening, and has me thinking about other aspects of our lives, and how freaking amazing it would be if we could have the opportunity to practice things in life before actually jumping in.  But even better, what if we could sit back and watch.  Just watch.  Watch our life.

Over the past weeks, I feel like I’ve been watching a younger (much, much younger) version of myself.  Lacie and I have similar personalities, obviously share a love of music, and most importantly–have a similar sense of humor.  Feeling as though I’m seeing a younger me– It has me thinking…..WHAT IF we were able to see a younger version of ourselves, and actually intervene.  What if we could stop ourselves from making our stupidest mistakes?  What if we could go back to all the times we got scared and ran away, and tell ourselves to be brave and go for it.  Would we?

The little images we see on TV…..a dude has a little angel on one shoulder and a little devil on the other…..as they bicker back and forth, trying to outdo the other.  What if we had a little version of ourselves on one shoulder–only 30 years older than our actual age.  An older version of YOU–always riding along with you, giving you the advice you need to hear in order to end up being the person you want to be.  Would we listen?

Honestly, most of us would try our best to ignore our older self.  We’re all convinced we know what we’re doing, and we don’t need an old fart telling us what to do.  Also, most of us have the horrible habit of listening to others more than we listen to ourselves.  We don’t take the time to sit quietly and search our own hearts when we make decisions.  We make them based on what others are doing, what others are thinking, and what looks cool on the internet.

I’ve pondered on this for a while, and I’ve come to the conclusion that if I had a tiny Mary on my shoulder, 30 years older than I am now (OMG, she’d be almost 80!)….she would probably be giving me two thumbs up on just about everything I’ve done so far in this rollercoaster of a life.  Because, even though a huge percentage of it has been horribly stupid, those decisions are what has make me into who I am today.  Without those stupid mistakes, I’d be boring.  I’d have fewer scars (and fewer tattoos…sorry, Mom).  I’d be less seasoned, less complex, and I wouldn’t have the crazy stories to share with my daughter. I can’t imagine my life without every single stupid decision I’ve ever made.

I mean, of course I have regrets….we all do.  I regret not telling my college voice teacher how much he meant to me before he died.  I regret not getting a cat until I was 45.  On many occasions, I’ve regretted not speaking my mind.  I regret not spending more time with my Grandparents in their last years on earth.   I regret not learning to play the guitar.  I regret the night I drank a bottle of wine and ate an entire container of wasabi peas. That was a bad, bad night.    The list goes on….

I think if we all were to make a list, we’d see that the funny, stupid regrets far outweigh the serious ones.  I think most of us would agree that our regrets make us who we are, and make for great lessons to share with our children.

So, to my student teacher, Lacie, I give you this advice:   DO IT.  DO LIFE.  Do exactly what you’ve been doing as I’ve sat at my desk watching you.  You’ll sit and watch people too–all throughout your life– and you’ll see some of them do things exactly like you would, and you’ll see some do things that you’d never consider doing.  You’ll see things you love….join in and do those things.  You’ll see things you hate.  Stand up against those things if you truly think they are wrong.  Always go out of your way to protect the children that you teach.  Then go home and take care of YOU.   Don’t worry about failing.  Worry about the chances you’ll miss if you don’t try.  Make stupid decisions and get some good regrets gathered up so you can tell your children about them someday.

And a quote that hits me very close to home– author unknown, so I like to claim it as my own….

“Never regret growing old.  It’s a privilege denied to many.”

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God Bless Lacie, and all of my teacher peeps, as we’ve made it to Spring Break.   Enjoy your time off.  Make some fun memories, and HEY–no biggie if a regret or two occurs

May we return to school rested and ready to conquer the world.